All Over

You know, I never thought I would say that I was receiving too much love. I had a guy who was mad in love with me, a father who reminds me that he'll always love me, and a new friend. I also never thought that I couldn't handle it. For boy #1, I talked to him today and just said that I didn't want it all. I never asked for it all, and I just couldn't return the feelings. Of course, all I said that 'I'm 16. I don't want love; I just want food,' and that seemed to be a sufficient enough answer. I don't think he would have wanted to know the real answer: that I didn't love him.

I don't think I ever did. I don't think I've ever been in love, and I don't want to be! I want those few times that I fall in love to be special and I know they wouldn't be at this age. I just want to have fun; whether it's with boys or not doesn't matter.
I was explaining this to a friend a couple of days ago who insisted that I want a boyfriend. Sure, if I meet a guy, that's cool! I mean, I'm open to people, but it doesn't mean that I will waste time looking for a "perfect 16 or 17 year old" that I could be spending with family or friends having a good time.
I'm not closed off to dating... but it's not my first priority.


God, I have been finding out who I am this entire summer. The suffering pays off.

"Just give it time."