Vagina Monologues

Brace yourself for a woman's honesty here. The past couple of weeks, I've been rehearsing for a show which opens tonight: Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler. Coincidentally enough, i had my first OB/GYN appointment the day it opens (pun intended.)
All the stories in the show have some relation to a woman who finds herself in her vagina and is in wonder. I could easily understand how a woman can get lost in her vagina; it's a powerful piece of a woman, representative of so much more than an anatomical device. All I could think is "when will I experience this 'vaginal wonder' which seems to open women's minds?"

I, myself, have a strange relationship with my "down there." We're not dating, we're not best friends, we hardly ever talk. I don't avoid her; I stay hygenic. In the shower, it's just another thing to make sure is clean. I can't decide if it's another being there, or if it really is part of me. I can try to see the beauty of having one, and I can almost reach it, but I avoid it at all costs. I try to pretend that it doesn't exist.

But my doctor didn't. She was persistent. Not in a bad way... she was gentle. But for some reason, I couldn't shake off the feeling that it was invasive. I am not even friends with my hoohah, and yet, I'm tentatively introducing it to my doctor who is happy to meet it. Is that normal? I suppose so.

I did cry. I felt like I should be in touch with myself (not particularly in that way) and I felt ashamed that I didn't know myself in that way.

Then again, in the Vagina Monologues, there is a woman who is over 70 and only just "got down with herself" according to the introduction.

I know I'll be comfortable someday. But for now, I'll live with a Chinese bowl between my legs.